Okej i take that lack off fucks given as; please l’ho proceed. So there are 5 names i have mentioned on 5 different cops (kan vi agree now that whenever i write pig it is the same as a cop, right) that are suppossed to be My demonDaddys, there are Kevin, David, Michael, Ted and Tobias. The fight? Oh? Well his name is similar to the olivet discourse… Oliver, the oil, the ass. The H? What is l’ho backwards? And he probably wanted to be cool.. (If you olli are not involved then again TELL ME TO STOP. I would feel bad if you are innocent in this, i say so much shit to ”you”.. but then again if you have nothing to do with this then the words are not about you anyway, But sorry if this is the case). If not? You Are confusing the shit out of my brain. Feels good til the thought of going… to that lonley sad hellhole, i’ll bet very soon it’s gonna start to smell dead human…

Or i picture like that when i get there and open the door, walk in and see a half naked girl lying on the livingroomfloor. She is still warm, but dead. She is holding tight around my pigpillow. I can see she has been crying her makeup off, and she is still all red around her eyes.. the pigpillow is wet and covered in her tears. And blood… i can see a heroine needle on the floor close to her. There is still liquid in the syringe so she probably went out pretty fast. Good for her.. when i remove the pig i can see she has cut herself a thick line from the forehead down to her c section, and then straight across her chest out on her arms, it stops halfway on the arms. On the left arm she has drawn the molecular formula for dopamine on the spot she used to shoot up, which was probably the same spot the heroine went in. My theory from looking att the cross which is turned the upright way and the drawing that in her last hours she probably screamed for her dad in terror and in a feeling of total loneliness, worthlessness and abandonment, so she cried hysterically after him to come save her finally. But the time went by and her cries was met with silence… eventually the suffering she felt was on a level she had never experienced, soo deep, soo real, so alone.. so that she finally couldnt take anymore and for the first time in her life she Really wanted and needed to die, such a horrible feeling. So she acted. Beside her is her brown favorite pacifier…

Yeah shit turned dark there.. even if i didnt know her, if i had known, i would have went in and just hold her, telling her it is going to be ok, she is not alone now, i am here with you, there is nothing to fear. You are safe baby girl.