Fuck i dont wanna be alone anymore.. really what is the problem? I am asking because i really want to know who is pushing the breaks. Idk now shit turns dark again. This disgusting feeling of being stuck in the same loop. Always coming closer but never reaching…when i lie home in my bed i have the same feeling of everything being just impossible. Because i thought way too many times that it will happen when it has not and it has left me with this feeling. As quickly as the dark comes and around 21-22 on the night everything just dies and become something not grounded in reality, it becomes flat somehow…and the feeling, the knowing that comes with that time is in turn making it even more impossible, its just a feeling of Emptiness. And nothingness. And now when the afternoon comes i actually am disappointed.. as fuck… to be honest. The feeling of going and look on the lilo stitch tonight is a pretty nice feeling. What am i left with? Exactly that which i described earlier. A lonely, cold and impossible night. Im starting to believe dreams cannot come true anymore.

I know you will fail the 25th too, the same knowing. And when you have Done that, everything is all over.