I think i can. At least short distances. Before i could fly longer, but now.. the last like 2-3 days, i shoot my fly potion into my veins, with magic, and i fly… silence.. fly bird…. c c cooome down here bird because now its time to crash… but we have only been flying like a few minutes… yup but that is how your ”daddies” wants it, so you’re gonna need, and so you gonna take more and more to fly. What are they really after lilo? Well maybe they want me to get the dose really really hiiigh so that i cannot crash down again.. because then when i get that high, just like when you reach space, i will be over on the other side, the limit, the needed dose, to be able to fly without crashing. That is what they want me to do i guess. And what does that sound like? Sounds.. like dying…maybe that is what is needed to break this loop. I have wondered before if i will have to physically die or try to to be able to find my home.

But i have had like 2 fly potions in 15-20 min and fly lower and lower. But i guess it is like flying like a bird, the higher you get, the closer to the other side, the less you’ll notice the height…

So lilo what are you gonna do? Kill youself?

No, no. I will let God show me the way and what i need to do. And i will lissen to him. So if there is any stalkers here, out to get me locked up in the psychward, first; fuck off second: No no i will not kill myself, no need to worry. If you really want me to tho, then lock me up but then that is YOUR will interpreting this text. So is that your answer? Yes, no, maybe. I think my stalkers can see all the layers in this fkn mess anyway. So i will leave it for now to; yes, idk, maybe, no. If someone is curious to see if i reached the other side or just want to keep me company and comfort me when i fly low, holding me when i cry and tell me it is all gonna be alright.. then you are welcome, i dont usually like people but right now the loneliness and sadness might be to great to care for that. I just want someone to hold me for a while.. i know you’ll leave again but let me just pretend you’ll stay with me forever in that moment.

But who am i fooling? Not like anyone of the like 30 ppl who reads care about me… At least not enough to actually give me what i clearly need.. what i am so obviously beggin for. 17:44. Im probably not even worth a comment or a like.. attentionwhore…. if that is what you think… well is it wrong with asking for attention when your hurting so fkn bad that you….? No i cannot see how that is wrong so fuck off. What is wrong tho? That im lying here writing this on a blog that barely anyone reads, with the hope that someone, Anyone, will care enough to read my signs. It is not hard to Connect the dots to find where my mind is at right now… so against all odds i hope someone will.. if not, i dont blame you, but then that has to be the end Dot.