Ok so here we go again::what happens when you move the first A in again to the absolute right side? Yup big dejavu there 22:37-38. Ok thats not what the post was going to be about…

Ok daddies, the dream has 3 important places where most things play out. 1. The psychward 2. Home 3. The ”me:information” place. In the dream you camouflaged yourselves as mental caretakers, it was many but 3 were around the most, 1.A.X.S 2. J.C 3. C.F. I remember tho that one time axs was going to go somewere and do something that HAD to be done, because you really never were suppossed to leave me cus i was needing you and got sad when one of you went away. You were always 2-3 around me, close, to keep me safe and to give me what i need. I liked that feeling. My name was Selina:seal’in, i was like 14-15-16? You were ofc older. I was from brazil were i was together with a cartel-leader going around killing people. I dont remember how but somehow you decided you needed to save me from myself so i end up in sweden with you so you can have full control over me and my needs, always hovering over and around me, almost always touching me and staying real close. I had some condition closea:co-seal:seaLock:oak-seal, and it ment that i needed constant care and to always be near you, and the need for you skin against mine. If i did not get it there was 3 steps to this condition; 1. In the first level.. i actually only remember the last and 3rd level which was most intense and when that happened i shut off and did not talk, barely moved and i dont know how to describe it rly.. like i was there but still not, and not always it helped then to be close… now it is mixing up with the steps of the medication you gave me there were 3 steps there to. It was if i got aggressive and out of control and did not give a fk about what you tried to do. 1. If i was here i was like not too wild but started to get more upset and then you gave me 1ml of benzo (Xanor) in the buttcheek (always there). I did not want it so you had to talk me into it, some times i agreed sometimes not. If i refused and starting to get more angry you had to give me 2. a 2 ml-shot, you needed to hold me firmly to calm me which sometimes made me wanna escape more, but always felt safe and good. Most often you had to be 2-3 to give me the shot. Either i sat turned towards you in your lap on the sofa, you Held me close and the 2nd one was giving me the shot while the 3rd was talking calmly to me and trying to help me relax.

3. 3 ml shot, this was in more intense situations like when i managed to get loose and rushed to attack someone (always females), or just being totally uncontrolable, sometimes here i had to lie down when getting it because you had to have full control. When geting 3 ml i always fell asleep, you lied down with me in a nice big chair or the sofa and held me and cuddling til i and when i was sleeping. You were rocking me in different directions to help soothe me. I actually liked these moments, i did not want to get medication but i needed you so bad that it always felt good anyways. And so this escape deal thing, we were in the meeting room and i had, before that managed to get drugs in different ways so now you were having a meeting bout This 23:53. And when in the room i had before planned for this Z:Joseph to come with his buddys and threaten you with Guns to get me out so they could give me drugs. But there was no risk of you being h’armed because you knew i would never allow them to. So we went away and i smoked a joint mixed with i think cocaine? Anyway then we went to their place which is this small house i marked, after being away from you i started to go down doown dooown Low Loower LoooWest. I remember just lying there and staring. After a while i dont know how long you came to get me back home, and when i am Loow or down in the Looowest bunker vacuum dark shit place, as i believe i am, i need you to come fuck me, and give me what i need to get the fuck out of this lonely dead place… but now i realize i cannot be that low, because im writing this and is fully contactable so that worries me.. how low and how down do you WANT me to go? Because i feel nothing here, i cant hear or feel you at all except Kevin sometimes but he is awfully quiet too. I feel alone, i feel cheeted, betrayed, sad, wayLess, pathLess and…HopeLess=lowpees:lowPiece:loopies. Dont leave me here please because i dont know how i will cope with waking up alone… i rly dont know…i was gonna write under all images but im sure you understand

One more thing came up now, one time one of you was arrested by the cops… good one.. and yeah i dont rly remember how i reacted because u are 00:16 obviously blocking me out of it…

If this is gonna happen it’s gonna happen Now you understand me? Cause i aint waiting any longer. Seize your chance D or lose it, up to you but i want you to know that if im alone waking up then that is a proof From You to Me that you dont want me and that this shit isnt happening, ok? I have sealed that deal with you now and i think u feel it. So rn im so fkn scared.. i know whats gonna happen but i dont know how i will feel when realizing it was all a big lie..