Yup, he did it, went to the toilet and then carrying my dripping Uni back to my ”bed”, and fell asleep… i hate sleeping, because when i wake up the first thing that comes is anxiety, the knowing that this horrible loop has started all over again… then after some drug it feels better, and it always makes me more or less horny and… thats like the first traps i fall into. But i dont know if they really are traps, they make me feel happy, really happy. They make me feel really good.. they make my pussypulse pump.. the pee, just makes it all feel soo much better, in all ways. It is so dirty, intimate like you can feel the inside of the person you love.. it’s warmth is or must be like coded in a special way in me, because it awakens feelings i cannot really explain. Every time im in the shower, ever since i was little, and put my face in the water it gives me some kind of magical feeling. And the one and only word that has come hard and fast into my head is ”Home”, i’ve never understood why. And to this word is an image of me watching myself in the backseat of a car, it is dark but something red is glowing somewhere. I have my hands covered over my face, then the word ”safe” comes. It makes me feel good but there is one thing that is wrong with this picture. It is in the city i grew up til i was 8, and i only get horrible feelings when thinking of or being in that city. And i see silhouettes of pinetrees, and i dont really like them. I dont get how these good feelings is mixed with the background of really really bad feelings. Ah well, whats more? 🤔 it is just all of it, the sight, the color, the smell, the taste, all! Satan has promised me it’ll be A Loot of it in all kinds of ways, everywhere and all the time! I’d love that! 😛 so now i dont really remember why i began to write. The Point, the Point is always the Point. Makes sense. Right?